


How Big Is Your Networth?

by NixxieOfTheGays



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Gen, Marriage Proposal, Mild Hurt/Comfort, NOT RPF THIS IS ABOUT THE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS, One Shot, Platonic Life Partners, Queerplatonic Relationships, Sort Of, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage Drinking, but Platonic - Freeform, but its potions in minecraft, i certainly had that in mind, i hate how the tags make this look like rpf so i made my own, i just want them being canonically married to make sense in the lore damn it, no beta we die like the children on the dream smp's wills to live, this is dsmp when has anything made sense in the lore, this is not shipping, you can read c!tubbo as aro if you feel like it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29692116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NixxieOfTheGays/pseuds/NixxieOfTheGays
Summary: "Look at these scars on my face and tell me I'm not gonna die young."---It's late. Ranboo and Tubbo talk.
Relationships: Mentioned Tubbo & TommyInnit (Dream SMP), Tubbo & Ranboo (Dream SMP)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 514





	How Big Is Your Networth?

**Author's Note:**

> BIG OL' DISCLAIMER: This is not about real people, this is about the fictional characters in the Dream SMP. This fic is not a shipping fic either. This idea came about when Tubbo and Ranboo made it canon that their characters are married and me, as someone very invested in the lore, wanted to make it fit. Basically, in this fic cc!Ranboo and cc!Tubbo's chill streams are somewhat canon. Those two have been hanging out, just imagine it with their characters' personalities. Hope you all enjoy.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Tubbo talks about his suicidal thoughts and Ranboo thinks back to when Tommy was feeling suicidal at one point. There's also talk of death and explosions. talking about a blade held against one's throat briefly is the most gorey it's gonna get, though. There is also a little bit of cursing on Tubbo's end.

Two teenagers, one tall and one short, sit on a porch in a snowstorm nursing two very light drinks.

"We're friends... aren't we, Ranboo?"

Ranboo doesn't know what he's still doing here after all that he's done.

_Choosing people._

_Not sides._

"Yeah, I should think so, considering I've been hanging out here more than I do my own home at this point."

"Good. I need friends," Tubbo says, a solemn look in his sleepless eyes, "I don't know how many people truly like me anymore. I used to be so kind, so... open. I don't know what happened."

_So we're talking about the deep stuff, huh?_

"You're still kind, Tubbo. You gave me a second chance after I bl- after I betrayed you." 

Tubbo scoffs, "You forgave me after I tried to fucking experiment on you."

"You were only trying to help-"

"Oh my God, grow a backbone, big man! I'm not an idiot, I could see how scared you were! That anvil nearly killed you. I could tell your hearing was a bit fucked after, too," Tubbo laughs without humor, sitting up straight from the slouching position he was previously in, "See? How kind was that?" he picks up the forgotten bottle of Awkward Potion beside him and chugs the rest of it down.

"I've meaning to ask, what did you do with the nukes?"

"Pftt, disabled them. They're harmless now."

"So you're not going to... use them again?" The pointed ends of Ranboo's nails scrape against his glass. When he blinks he imagines his neighbor Techno coming home to a stinking crater. He imagines Eret's castle collapsing on impact.

Tubbo sighs, "Don't plan on it. The server wouldn't be able to survive any more bombs. I don't know what I was thinking," he rubs his face, eyes shifting out towards the icy beach, where the launch pads are located, "Okay, I know exactly what I was thinking. I was thinking I could make Snowchester this perfect fucking bubble. That Dream wouldn't mess with Tommy's head again if only I aimed a nuclear bomb at him," he lets out a defeated sound, "What is wrong with me?"

"You care too much."

_I have the same problem._

"True," Tubbo nods, "true." Tubbo spends a moment staring at the sea, debating what to say, "I hate being alive sometimes. It's exhausting."

Suddenly, Ranboo can see another boy. One with sandy blond hair, bandaged hands shaking as he stands at the edge of a lava pool.

_"Is it- Is it worth it? Is it worth it, Ranboo?"_

_"What? Is what worth it?"_

_"Is this even worth it?"_

_"I'd say it is."_

Ranboo doesn't say anything. He can't. Not again.

"Ranboo, I don't think I'm ever gonna fall in love. I don't think I want to. I think I waited a long time. Then I almost died, and I-" he breaks, his head falling into Ranboo's lap. Ranboo's hand goes to his hair without thinking. He can feel small horns. He wonders why he never noticed them before, "I want... I don't know what I want, I want to say 'fuck it' and do all the things I want to do, ya know? In life,"

Ranboo hardly notices Tubbo's tears burning his hand.

"I asked Tommy to marry me not too long ago. It was right after the nuke test. He was very high, I doubt he remembers it. It's not that I like him that way, I've never liked anyone that way. I just wanted to know what it would be like, what it'd feel like to come home everyday and have someone there. That's how I explained it. I felt really stupid afterwards. He just laughed and looked at me funny before coughing up blood and pissing in my potato farm. I thought to myself 'Tommy's not like that. He's not like me, he's holding out for someone.' I'm tired of holding out for someone. Look at these scars on my face and tell me I'm not gonna die young."

"You never did tell me where you got them."

Tubbo closes his eyes, gulping shakily, "That's right. You weren't around back then. You know about Manberg, right Ranboo?"

"Yeah. And Schlatt and the war."

"It was a month or two before you got here. I was the Secratary of State at the time and it was hard. It was hard working under Schlatt. It was hard risking my ass spying for Pogtopia. At least Schlatt used to say he was proud of me, sometimes. Wilbur never did. He was gonna blow it all up and all I had to do was make my speech. T-Then everything was yellow and Schlatt was calling me a traitor. Technoblade stepped onto the stage with his Rocket Launcher promising to make it colorful. My second life. Poof."

"Poof..."

"Tommy tried to fight him for that. You can guess how well that went."

Ranboo nods, thinking of the times Technoblade took him Totem hunting and the look on his face as the illigers burnt alive.

"I really thought... I really thought Dream was going to do it before you all came through that portal. I really thought he was going to kill me. He had the blade against my neck and everything. I was going to be dead and all I could think of was whether or not it would hurt more than the firework. I feel like I shouldn't even be a-alive right now. The funny thing is that I still want to get married."

"You really want to spend your last life married to someone you aren't in love with?"

"It doesn't matter to me that I'm not in love. Maybe part of me just wanted an excuse to get him to move to Snowchester, but I love Tommy. It's killing me that he's in there right now," he gestures vaguely in the direction of the prison, "And I love you."

Ranboo's heart warms at that. He can't remember the last time he's heard those words.

"I love you, too, dude."

"Ranboo?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you marry me?"

Ranboo can't help but laugh, "What about kids, Tubbo?"

"What about them? Is Michael not enough for you?" he teases.

"It's just a lot, Tubbo. I'm not even eighteen yet."

"I get it, I know. Forget I ever asked."

"Wait, just let me think for a second," Ranboo gets up and goes inside. He finds his rucksack hanging near the door. It takes a bit of rummaging until he find which pocket he keeps them, another of the many things he can never remember. Tubbo's staring at the ocean again when he comes back outside, "Here we are."

"A coin?"

"Heads, we go to Eret first thing in the morning-"

"- Tails, we go to Eret just so I can divorce you immediately after. Then you'll have to cut me some of that sweet alimony," Tubbo finishes for him.

"Debatable."

"You flipping or shall I?"

Then the coin hits the space between them.

Heads.

To Ranboo's surprise he doesn't feel a bit of regret.

"Aw, no alimony," Tubbo whines in jest, his heart beating fast.

"Okay, one more time to decide who proposes first."

"I have a couple Ring Pops inside," he doesn't tell him about the matching pairs of silver that he bought off Sam not too long ago. He considers surprising him with it when they go to the castle, "I call heads this time."

The coin hits the ground again.

Tails.

Tubbo pushes him playfully before retrieving the candies. Ranboo takes one and promptly gets down on one knee, matching Tubbo's height.

"Will you, Tubbo Underscore, have the honor of becoming my platonic husband?"

"Hmm... How big is your net worth?"

"Tubbo, you don't even wanna know."

"I accept!" he lets Ranboo slide the ring onto his finger. He licks it giddily, before opening the second wrapper, "And will you, Ranboo..." he falls into a loud whisper, "This is a big embarrassing, but what is your last name?"

"I can't remember,"

"Fair enough. Will you, Ranboo, My Beloved, take my hand in marriage?"

"How big is your net worth?" 

Tubbo only elbows him in response, "What a rude thing to ask your fiancé." he chides.

"Yes, Tubbo. I will marry you. Entirely for tax benefits, just to be clear."

"Oh, for sure," Tubbo puts the hand that's not sticky with candy on Ranboo's shoulder, "So, Eret tomorrow?"

"Eret tomorrow."

"And you're really serious about this?"

Ranboo smiles, "I really am."

**Author's Note:**

> Update: Okay so c!Ranboo and c!Tubbo have now been confirmed romantically married, so I guess this is no longer canon complacent, but my arospec heart wants to stick with this interpretation anyways.


End file.
